Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Review
On memory, pain, and why the procedure never actually works.
The movie has several themes, or ideas, that can be drawn from it. Most importantly, the film invokes questions. It challenges you to look at things through differing perspectives and to analyze the how and the why in a way few films do. It doesn’t matter if you think you understand the point the film is trying to make or not, every time you watch the film you are left with questions or new revelations. The only other film I’ve seen that does this with each new viewing (though in a completely different way) is The Spanish Prisoner (and I’ve seen that one over 40 times as opposed to only half a dozen or so for ESotSM).
Sometimes what you take from the film can even seem to be contradictory. For example, in one sense the film seems to making a point about the power of destiny (or the power of true love) in our lives in that despite their best efforts to forget one other, Joel & Clementine are destined to be together and their love for each other will pull them back together against all odds. That they are soulmates and will always find each other. Yet at the same time the message is clearly not that “love always prevails” as we don’t know if love prevails or not as the story stops short of finishing the tale. All it firmly establishes is that being in a relationship can be hard, tough, and painful, but that a relationship is worth it, despite it’s ups and downs.
Or worded differently, that our negative experiences make up who we are and that to remove them is not only counterproductive it is pointless as it won’t really work (just as the procedure doesn’t really work in the film. We see three humans to have the procedure (Joel, Clementine, and Mary) and they all end up doing the same thing that they did before the procedure) because without those experiences, you’re not you. While they may be painful, it makes you who you are. This is illustrated in Joel’s attempts to save his memories of Clementine by going back to his memories he has tried to forget and that disturb him. This is painful for him, but it’s what made him who he is and is worth the pain to be who he is (and with her).
Even though it is the pain, or the memory of pain (“I wish I never met you,” I wasted two years of my life on him/her”), that they want to erase, it is the realization that while relationships are hard (illustrated by the pain, the hurt, the arguments and fights) they are also wonderful (illustrated by the happiness, the joy, the laughter and thoughtfulness). It is the pain, the hurt, the happiness, and the joy that makes life worth living. Joel experiences this through his procedure and is illustrated as he begs, “Please let me keep this memory, Mierzwiak!”
The good exists because we can compare it to the bad and vice versa, without sin there is no salvation. Joel describes his life as empty at the beginning of the movie, it was empty without the joy and the pain.
Once we reach the end of the film as they’ve heard the tapes and know that their relationship is doomed and will cause both of them pain, they decide it is still worth it. It’s not that they believe they can change who they are and “save” their new relationship, it is that with the knowledge that it’s doomed and despite the pain to come, that without each other, their lives are empty, meaningless (and, ironically, acknowledging this might actually save their relationship, but that’s irrelevant at this juncture), but that despite the pain they know is coming, they also know they will experience joy and happiness together, that they have purpose, that their lives will be full and meaningful.
In many ways, I can relate on a whole new level than I could when I first fell in love with this film 6 years ago. So many days I feel like everything would be so much easier if I could just forget Amy and move on. But I know that isn’t true. She has brought me untold joy, even if we have had more pain and hurt and in our short time together, it is the joy and the hope that make it all worth it. I wouldn’t give up 1 second of the joy brought to my live through Amy even if it meant giving up all the pain and sorrow. It’s all that pain and sorrow that has made the limited joy and the minuscule hope so powerful. And like it or not, without this joy and this pain, I’m not me. I’m not who I am today or where I am today. It doesn’t define me, but it sure gives my life meaning and purpose.